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Ashes, Australia, England

Your call. Which Pom is the biggest front running piss weak soft cock?

If you’re anything like the rock hard Australian Test team, you’ll be sporting a gargantuan boner until Boxing Day.

Then, the day after Santa’s Birthday, you’ll get on with following up a big day on the piss with your favourite alcoholic uncle with a God-Almighty monster session on the green cans for five days as we watch the Urn-Slaying Aussie Dominators bend the piss poor Pommie poofters over yet again in our quest for a 5-zip whitewash.

'SUCK MORE PISS NOW!!'

‘SUCK MORE PISS NOW!!’

Yeah, fuck ’em.

In the meantime, who do you think has been the most gutless and insignificant in the English touring party?

'I am a softcock' - Stuart Broad

‘I am a soft cock’ – Stuart Broad

Here at RootersCricket.com we lean heavily toward pooncey old Alastair Cook who has royally fucked up anything he has gone near this series and, if the past is anything to go on, he’ll get sacked before he gets off the red-eye at Heathrow.

'Yes. I am a soft cock.' - Alastair Cook

‘Yes. I am also a soft cock.’ – Alastair Cook

But fuck him.

'The bucket of dildos arrived!! Fuck Yeah!!'

‘The bucket of dildos arrived!! Fuck Yeah!!’

Maybe you’ll go for front-running, downhill skiing, “I only perform if the team does first” Kevin Pietersen who is clearly a compulsive masturbator.

'There goes a fuckhead'

‘There goes a fuckhead’

Or maybe you’ll opt for Jimmy ‘The Blouse’ Anderson, who needs absolutely everything to be perfect with cloudy conditions and a little poofy Duke rock hooping like buggery so he can battle through a session without George Bailey belting him like a red-headed stepson.

'Fuck off Poindexter!'

‘Fuck off, Poindexter!’

You tell us, you fucking champions!!

Let’s get to voting…..

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Discussion

2 thoughts on “Your call. Which Pom is the biggest front running piss weak soft cock?

  1. ya know, i hate to say it… but Broad coming in to bat with a fucked foot.. albeit he didnt have to bat for very long… but it took balls.. i reckon theres a lot of poms in that squad that wouldnt of… think he earned my respect for not being a pussy..

    Posted by Nathan Neka Knight | December 18, 2013, 9:56 am
    • Yeah, he may be a bit of a posh looking cunt but he was the only one to perform when the rest were falling like flies. How about Graeme Swann? Couldn’t hack the heat so bailed on his mates mid tour! .

      Posted by Ken H | January 18, 2014, 2:46 am

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