This category contains 6 posts

Watson prefers private “rub and tug”

Rooters, London Chalky-boned Australian all-rounder Shane “Quentin” Watson says it is incredibly sad for cricket fans that Kevin Pietersen is being denied the opportunity to play for the Poms in the upcoming Ashes series. “It’s incredibly sad for the cricket-loving public not to be able to see Kevin Pietersen stand around shining his Oakleys for … Continue reading

‘You’re going to bowl like a fucking gimp!’ – Lehmann

Rooters, Cape Town Peter Siddle’s refusal to strap on a nose bag has cost him a place in the Test team. The banana eating, former fast-bowler turned slow medium-pace bowling, pox doctor’s clerk has been dropped from the Australian line-up amid claims of malnutrition. Coach and selector Darren Lehmann confirmed that the team hierarchy were … Continue reading

‘Some people need a coffee…..’ – Smith

Rooters, Port Elizabeth The turmoil and uncertainty created by Mitchell Johnson and Australia’s thumping first Test win appears to have lingered into South Africa’s arse-about preparation for the second Test in Port Elizabeth. Amid remarkable scenes at yesterday’s coin toss, Australian captain Michael Clarke was left standing next to the pitch for five minutes awaiting … Continue reading

MiJo talks to Rooters Cricket

Rooters managed to catch up with an amped up Mitchell Johnson who was balls deep in victory celebrations after the Aussies flogged the Saffas in the first Test at Centurion. We asked him for an insight into the mindset he had going into the hosts’ first dig – just before he went and nearly took … Continue reading

South Africa first Test preview – stay hard!

Rooters, Johannesburg Sitting in Sydney airport awaiting his team’s flight to South Africa a couple of weeks ago, Australian captain Michael Clarke said he was unaware top-ranked South Africa had beaten No. 2 India to extend their unbeaten run to 14 series. “Fucked if I know. I didn’t watch one ball of that series to … Continue reading

Deano ‘livid’ on Hercules and Marsh selections

Rooters, Hobart Former Australia Test player and controversial commentator Dean Jones has questioned the logic behind Cricket Australia’s National Selection Panel (NSP) replacing injured allrounder James Faulkner in the Test squad for the tour of South Africa with a man whose name ‘Deano’ can neither say, spell nor remember – Moises Henriques. Fresh from bitch-slapping … Continue reading

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