Monty Panesar

This tag is associated with 4 posts

Poms are shit – a review

Rooters, Sydney Fortunately enough, I’ve never been at point blank range around the stables to see a mare get serviced by a stallion. They reckon it’s not pretty. They tell me there’s a little pony involved, sort of like the ‘fluffer’ that porn producers employ to get the ‘talent’ up and about. Then they fuck … Continue reading

Graeme Swann is as weak as piss

Rooters, Melbourne Collar-popping England spin-bowling felcher Graeme Swann has sensationally retired and will play no further part in the Ashes series, which resumes at the MCG on Boxing Day. The 34-year-old soft cock had been one of several under-performing players in pooncey Alastair Cook’s touring party under pressure to retain their places for the final … Continue reading

Happy hours. Golden showers. An evening with Monty.

Rooters, Brighton England cricket star Monty Panesar has been fined by police after being caught urinating on nightclub bouncers in Brighton. In startling revelations, it has been confirmed The ‘Turban Headed Warrior’, who has taken 164 Test wickets for England, enjoyed a bender that would have sat Charlie Sheen on his arse. The spin bowler, … Continue reading

England set to inject life into Ashes

Rooters, Manchester England selectors today announced a 14-man squad for the third Ashes Test at Old Trafford, starting on Thursday. In an attempt to even up the one-sided contest, they have included left arm pie-chucker Monty Panesar. National selector Geoff Miller said, “We’ve got to do something, old bean. We tried to give the colonials … Continue reading

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