South Africa

This tag is associated with 7 posts

Warner back on top of ICC fuckwit rankings

Rooters, Durban Australian Test vice-captain David Warner has regained his number one ICC ranking as the greatest fuckwit in world cricket after a fiery day of play at Kingsmead Cricket Ground in Durban. The first Test provided a major talking point on day four when star Proteas batsman and God-bothering happy clapper AB de Villiers … Continue reading

‘You’re going to bowl like a fucking gimp!’ – Lehmann

Rooters, Cape Town Peter Siddle’s refusal to strap on a nose bag has cost him a place in the Test team. The banana eating, former fast-bowler turned slow medium-pace bowling, pox doctor’s clerk has been dropped from the Australian line-up amid claims of malnutrition. Coach and selector Darren Lehmann confirmed that the team hierarchy were … Continue reading

‘Some people need a coffee…..’ – Smith

Rooters, Port Elizabeth The turmoil and uncertainty created by Mitchell Johnson and Australia’s thumping first Test win appears to have lingered into South Africa’s arse-about preparation for the second Test in Port Elizabeth. Amid remarkable scenes at yesterday’s coin toss, Australian captain Michael Clarke was left standing next to the pitch for five minutes awaiting … Continue reading

MiJo talks to Rooters Cricket

Rooters managed to catch up with an amped up Mitchell Johnson who was balls deep in victory celebrations after the Aussies flogged the Saffas in the first Test at Centurion. We asked him for an insight into the mindset he had going into the hosts’ first dig – just before he went and nearly took … Continue reading

South Africa first Test preview – stay hard!

Rooters, Johannesburg Sitting in Sydney airport awaiting his team’s flight to South Africa a couple of weeks ago, Australian captain Michael Clarke said he was unaware top-ranked South Africa had beaten No. 2 India to extend their unbeaten run to 14 series. “Fucked if I know. I didn’t watch one ball of that series to … Continue reading

Deano ‘livid’ on Hercules and Marsh selections

Rooters, Hobart Former Australia Test player and controversial commentator Dean Jones has questioned the logic behind Cricket Australia’s National Selection Panel (NSP) replacing injured allrounder James Faulkner in the Test squad for the tour of South Africa with a man whose name ‘Deano’ can neither say, spell nor remember – Moises Henriques. Fresh from bitch-slapping … Continue reading

Warner to seek asylum in South Africa

Rooters, Nottingham Australia have revealed David Warner has left the Ashes squad after selectors decided he wasn’t ready to take on England in the first two Tests at Trent Bridge and Lord’s. Warner, who was suspended after punching 14-year-old Joe Root in a Birmingham bar in June, will join up with the Australia A tour … Continue reading

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