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Stuart Broad

This tag is associated with 7 posts

Your call. Which Pom is the biggest front running piss weak soft cock?

If you’re anything like the rock hard Australian Test team, you’ll be sporting a gargantuan boner until Boxing Day. Then, the day after Santa’s Birthday, you’ll get on with following up a big day on the piss with your favourite alcoholic uncle with a God-Almighty monster session on the green cans for five days as … Continue reading

Shane Watson is a pain in the arse

Rooters, Perth   A couple of weeks before the Gabba Test, Shane Watson sat in front of a mirror in the foyer of the Intercontinental Hotel in Sydney and he was talking about Shane Watson. Specifically, he was talking about Shane Watson’s hair. And Shane Watson’s muscles. “As long as I have time to get … Continue reading

BREAKING NEWS: Poms whinge. Australians don’t give a fuck.

Rooters, Adelaide Cricket Australia officials were thrown into a flap during the week after the appearance of a story written by Kenyan-born, former England fast-bowling, potato chip enthusiast and lardy-boy Derek Pringle in the London Telegraph. The great big bastard, who changed his name to that of his favourite crisp in the late 1980s, once … Continue reading

Rooters Cricket’s Ashes report card

Rooters, Ibiza ‘Geia sas!’ from the Greek party island of Ibiza. Readers will have to excuse our tardiness in the past week. The Rooters Cricket team have been up to their eyeballs in disco bickies and bikini-clad backpackers as we enjoy a well earned rest after covering another action-packed Ashes series. Now the dust has … Continue reading

English crowds should ‘just shoosh up’ – Haddin

Rooters, London Australia’s vice-captain Brad Haddin has attempted to pull a tricky one and shift the attention of the national selectors away from his own poor performances with the bat. The incumbant team backstop, who has made six scores under 14 in the eight visits he has made to the crease during the Ashes, has … Continue reading

Hoy Cricket! Stop being a c**t!

Rooters, Manchester My old Grandpappy used to say, “Champion. The trouble with common sense is it’s not common.” And dear old Pop may well have been referring to umpires Tony Hill and Marais Erasmus who took the players off during the fourth day of the third Test at Old Trafford, much to the frustration of … Continue reading

Cool dude Michael Holding demands cheat Stuart Broad be banned

Rooters, Nottingham In a hugely contentious moment, England’s Stuart Broad was given a bewildering reprieve when Pakistani umpire Aleem Dar failed to spot a thick edge to Michael Clarke at slip off the bowling of Rooters Cricket’s own Ashton Agar. South African Kevin Pietersen backed his team-mate’s decision not to walk, and was effusive in … Continue reading

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